The Economics of Romance: Marriage, Money and Modern Relationships

Marriage in the United States has changed faster in the last forty years than in almost any comparable period on record. Fewer young adults marry, those who marry do so later, and a growing share of couples sit down with a lawyer before the wedding. Culture explains part of this shift. Money explains a great deal of the rest. This article looks at what the research shows about the economics of marriage, the rise of the prenuptial agreement, how couples handle conflict, and where people meet a partner in the first place.

Why Are Fewer Young Adults Getting Married?

The decline is steep. According to an analysis by the Institute for Family Studies, only about 60% of 35-year-old men have ever been married today, down from 90% in 1980 [1]. The same analysis projects that roughly one in three of today's young adults (people turning 45 around 2050) will never marry, which would be close to the lowest level ever recorded [1]. Among all adults aged 25 to 34, the share who are married fell from 67% in 1980 to 37% in 2025 [2].

Researchers do not agree on a single cause. Changing attitudes about marriage, cohabitation and religion all play a role, and some scholars argue that culture matters more than money [2]. The economic evidence, however, is strong and consistent.

What Happens to Marriage When Good Jobs Disappear?

One of the most carefully designed studies on this question comes from economists David Autor, David Dorn and Gordon Hanson. They followed American communities hit hardest by import competition from China between 1990 and 2014. Where manufacturing jobs vanished, young men's earnings fell relative to women's, fewer men were working, and more men engaged in risky and damaging behavior. Marriage rates in those communities fell, and the share of children born to unmarried mothers and raised in poor single-parent households rose [3].

The broader wage picture points the same way. The Pew Research Center reports that the median annual earnings of young men without a four-year college degree remain below their 1973 levels, after adjusting for inflation [4].

Economic stability still matters in how people choose a spouse, and it matters more to women. In a Pew Research Center survey, 78% of never-married women said it was very important that a potential spouse have a steady job, compared with 46% of never-married men [5]. When fewer young men have steady, well-paid work, the pool of partners that many women consider ready for marriage shrinks.

At the same time, women's economic position has grown much stronger. In 2022, wives earned about as much as their husbands in 29% of opposite-sex marriages, and wives were the sole or primary breadwinner in another 16%, up from 5% in 1972 [6]. That shift matters again when we turn to prenuptial agreements.

Does the Generational Wealth Gap Play a Role?

Older Americans hold far more of the country's wealth than they once did. Using the Federal Reserve's Survey of Consumer Finances, the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis found that between 1989 and 2013, the median inflation-adjusted wealth of families headed by someone under 40 fell 28%, while the median wealth of families headed by someone 62 or older rose 40% [7]. The Pew Research Center reports that Baby Boomer households aged 58 to 76 had a median wealth of $432,200 in 2022, compared with $185,300 for households of the same age in 1983 (both in 2024 dollars) [8]. Scott Galloway, a professor at New York University's Stern School of Business, notes that adults under 40 held 12% of household wealth in 1989 and hold about 7% today, while adults over 70 went from 19% to 30% [10].

The picture for young adults is not entirely bleak. Asset prices rose sharply after the COVID-19 pandemic, and by the end of 2024 younger households held, on average, $1.35 of wealth for every $1 that Baby Boomers held at the same age [9]. Averages can hide a lot, though, because gains are concentrated among young adults who already owned homes or investments. For the many who do not, building the financial independence to plan a shared life remains hard.

Do Housing Costs Keep Couples From Marrying?

Housing is the largest single cost of setting up a household. A study of 2,450 United States counties between 1970 and 1999 found that where the cost of owner-occupied housing was higher relative to local income, marriage rates were lower [11]. This link is debated, however. Scott Winship of the American Enterprise Institute argues that most young newlyweds have always rented, and that falling marriage rates make housing harder to afford rather than the other way around [2]. The fairest reading is that high housing costs are one real pressure among several, not the sole cause.

What Happens If You Marry Without a Prenup?

Every married couple is already covered by a set of rules for what happens if the marriage ends. If you do not write your own agreement, your state's laws and courts decide how property is divided and whether one spouse pays support to the other. In that sense, you already have a prenup: the legislature wrote it for you.

Most states divide property under an "equitable distribution" approach, where a judge weighs a list of factors set by statute. A smaller group of "community property" states generally split property acquired during the marriage. In Massachusetts, a judge dividing property considers factors such as the length of the marriage, each spouse's income, employability and needs, and each spouse's contribution to the marital estate, including as a homemaker [14]. Our guide to Massachusetts property division explains how this works in practice.

A prenuptial agreement lets a couple replace some of those default rules with terms they choose themselves. Most states have adopted some version of the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act of 1983 or its 2012 update, the Uniform Premarital and Marital Agreements Act [13]. Courts review these agreements for fairness. In Massachusetts, the Supreme Judicial Court held that a prenuptial agreement must be fair and reasonable when it is signed and must not leave a spouse without sufficient property or support when the marriage ends [15]. Agreements cannot decide child custody or limit a child's right to support.

Why Are More Young Couples Signing Prenups?

Prenuptial agreements are no longer only for the very wealthy. A Harris Poll of 2,148 United States adults conducted for Bloomberg News and published in July 2026 found that 53% of engaged or married Americans under 45 had signed a prenup [12].

Women are a major force behind the change. The same reporting found that women now request close to half of prenups in the United States, and family lawyers attribute this to women's rising earnings and a desire for financial clarity before marriage [12]. Women who plan to step back from paid work to raise children are also using agreements to protect themselves [12].

How Should a Couple Approach the Prenup Conversation?

The best time to set the rules for a partnership is when both people are on good terms and thinking generously. A prenuptial agreement conversation asks each partner to put everything on the table: income, savings, debts, property, family businesses, expected inheritances and plans for children or career breaks. Done well, the process is less about planning for divorce and more about building a shared understanding of money before it becomes a source of conflict.

A few practical points make an agreement more likely to hold up:

• Give full and honest financial disclosure. Hiding assets is one of the most common reasons agreements are challenged.
• Each partner should have their own lawyer, so that both understand what they are signing.
• Sign well before the wedding. An agreement presented days before the ceremony invites a claim that it was signed under pressure.
• Revisit the agreement after major life changes, such as the birth of a child or a large change in income. A postnuptial agreement can update the terms after the wedding.

For more detail, read our guide to prenuptial agreements in Massachusetts.

What Is the Fastest Way to Calm an Argument?

Every couple argues. What predicts the health of a relationship is less whether couples fight and more whether they can repair the damage. Relationship researcher John Gottman calls these moments "repair attempts": any statement or action that stops negativity from escalating [16]. A sincere apology is one of the most powerful. A review of 175 studies covering more than 26,000 people found that receiving an apology was one of the strongest predictors of forgiveness [17].

An apology does not require you to agree that you were entirely wrong. You can apologize for the effect of what you did, even if you did not intend to cause harm: "I can see that hurt you, and I am sorry." The key word is sincere. An apology offered only to shut down a conversation tends to be recognized for what it is.

Why Shouldn't You Bury Your Feelings to End a Fight?

Apologizing is different from suppressing what you feel just to end a fight. In a study that followed dating couples over 14 days and again three months later, people who suppressed their emotions when making sacrifices for a partner reported lower well-being and lower relationship satisfaction, and they thought more often about breaking up [18]. Psychologist Dana Crowley Jack's research on "self-silencing" has linked a habit of hiding one's own needs to keep the peace with depression [19]. Calm, honest communication about your actual concerns protects the relationship better than silence does.

Does Humor Help During a Disagreement?

Laughter in the middle of a disagreement can remind both people that they are on the same side. In a study of newlywed couples, Janice Driver and John Gottman found that the ability to use humor and affection during conflict was an important predictor of a relationship's future health, and that couples who were playful in everyday life were more likely to use humor when they argued [20]. The humor has to be shared, not aimed at your partner. Mocking or sarcastic jokes make conflict worse. You can be angry and still show that you love the person in front of you.

Where Do People Meet a Partner Today?

How couples meet has changed dramatically. A Stanford study of how American couples met found that meeting online overtook meeting through friends around 2013, and that 39% of heterosexual couples who met in 2017 met online [21]. Meeting through family, church, the neighborhood and friends has declined for decades, and the share of couples who met through work fell as well [21]. Remote and hybrid work is likely to push that number down further by reducing everyday contact with colleagues.

Physical gathering places are shrinking too, especially in Britain. According to the British Beer and Pub Association, the United Kingdom had 60,800 pubs in 2000 and 44,650 in 2025, a fall of about 27% [22]. Late-night venues have been hit even harder: the Night Time Industries Association reported in 2025 that 26% of Britain's late-night venues had closed since March 2020 [23].

Drinking habits are changing as well. Gallup found in 2025 that only 54% of American adults say they drink alcohol, the lowest level in nearly 90 years of tracking, and that the share of adults aged 18 to 34 who drink fell from 59% in 2023 to 50% in 2025 [24]. The rate stayed at that record low in 2026 [25]. Drinking less is good for health, but it removes one of the traditional reasons people went out and met strangers.

What Is a Third Place, and Why Do You Need One?

Sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined the term "third place" for the settings that are neither home (the first place) nor work (the second place): the cafés, community centers, gyms, bookstores, churches, clubs and parks where people gather regularly and informally [26]. These spaces are where acquaintances become friends, and where friends introduce you to people you would never otherwise meet. They do not need to involve alcohol. A running club, a volunteer group, a class or a regular table at a coffee shop all count.

Why Put the Phone Away and Dance?

Being physically present is only half of it. Put your phone away, make eye contact, and be willing to start a conversation. Dancing is a good example of a low-stakes way to connect in person. In a motion-capture study at Northumbria University, women rated men's dancing more highly when it included larger, more varied movements of the head, neck and torso [27]. The researchers suggested that confident, energetic movement may signal health and vigor, though they noted this still needed to be confirmed [27]. Whatever the science ultimately shows, moving without self-consciousness tells the people around you something about your confidence, and it gives you a direct, real-world way to connect with another person.

If you are planning a life together and want to talk through a prenuptial agreement, contact DaltonMurray. We help clients understand their options and prepare agreements that are clear and fair.

Sources

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